- How to Do Life Nugget:
Beware being set up by accepting ideas found in fairy tales.
Love and Beauty are common fairy tale themes. Two things we seek and two things we define in many different ways. What if ideas found in fairy tales “set us up” for unhappiness? What if we no longer allowed these ideas to run our lives?
Figure-nometry is the obsessive study of and search for physical perfection. Figure-nometry requires a magnifying glass to measure, compare, and highlight every flaw. A lifelong process I call Picking for Perfection (PFP) is set up and the search for beauty, boobs, buts and brawn--six pack abs, "V" shaped frame, up turned nose, uplifted buts and perky breasts-- is born.
Undoubtedly some ideas of perfection are kept alive by identifying with photo-shopped models, air-brushed figures and plastic surgery-altered shapes. However, I wonder if these mis-guided ideas, these Plastic Implants, of “what beauty is” and “the way relationships are” were inserted early on while reading fairy tales of our youth. Setting the keynote of them all is the Cinderella Fairy Tale.
Let's step into the characters in Cinderella, because you know that's what we do when we read or are read to; we take on the role; we identify with the characters.
Down on her hands and knees, Cinderella scrubs and toils; her hands red, knees chafed. A servant, she is expected to fetch, fuss over and attend to the fuming of her Ugly Stepsisters. Here we get to peek through the mirror at a model of support. Jealous of her beauty and kindness, her stepsisters are mean to her; they talk behind her back; play tricks on her; and miserably treat her. She wishes she could be someone else. And guess what, she gets her wish. Bibbity Bobbity Boo, she is transformed by a Fairy God Mother into a princess complete with carriage, men in waiting and of course, those glass slippers!
She attends the ball and meets Prince Charming, handsome, moneyed, titled and well, charming. Smitten by her, he dances with Cinderella all night until, of course, the clock strikes midnight and all fun has to end. Racing down the steps to beat time, she looses one of her glass slippers. Everything goes back to the way it was for Cinderella.
Mesmerized by one night of romance, Prince Charming begins a country wide search for the glass slipper’s owner. Women of all shapes and sizes try on to fit into this one tiny size. Finally, the slipper fits Cinderella and you guessed it; she wins a life of happily ever after.
Fairy Tale “set-ups” for unhapppiness:
We must grab at happiness, it doesn’t last; therefore, we must constantly be on guard and afraid (Dare I say it?) for the next glass slipper to drop.
Nugget: If you focus on lack, you often receive lack.
• We can (escape)our problems by (wishing) to be someone else.
Nugget: Ultimately there is no escaping. EVENTUALLY we have to deal.
• We must subscribe to the “one and only”, Glass Slipper Theory. Love and beauty are in short supply. We must squeeze ourselves into the right size and shape because if we don’t, we will be unbeautiful, unworthy and unable to find love.
Nugget: Beliefs act like magnets drawing to us more of the same.
• Beauty is to be sought after. If you don’t have it; you want it. If you have it, watch out someone will go after you for it.
Nugget: Beauty is from the inside-out.
• Expect a lifetime of happily-ever-afters following one night of romance.
Nugget: Happily ever afters are created by work-at-it ever afters.
• Someone else can save you.
Nugget: You give up your ability to change the way things are if you leave to someone else.
• To live a fairy tale love; girls must act like princesses--eternally beautiful and needing to be saved and guys must be a Prince Charming--our savior from boredom, dreary labor and the testimony to our beauty and soul.
Nugget: Impossible expectations cause misery. Become what you want from another.
• Living happily ever after will happen only after the magic powers of a Fairy Godmother.
Nugget: Check out "Good Ever After" below in blog
Nana asks, how are these "fairy tale" ideas working for you?
Ask Nana a question: http://dear-nana-says.blogspot.com
