Prepare for Success in 2010

It IS a new year. How are you going to make this year better than last year? Nana says one way is to take inventory and set goals. How about trying this to prepare for the success you want.

1. Create a template on a sheet of paper.
On the left side write down what you say you value and desire such as time with friends, getting good grades, performing well at work or spending some quiet time alone.

On the right, make a scale from 1-10 (highest) and rate how much time and effort you actually put into these areas last year. (For instance, you say you are interested in performing well at work; however in review, you realize you do just enough to get by. You might rate "6" for this category.)

2. Target your focus: Review your ratings. Decide which areas are truly important to you, on which areas you are willing to action and upon which you want to improve in the coming year.

3. Categorize: Make a list of all these areas of things you want to be, do and have. Set it aside for a moment.

4. U-tube the Future: Now imagine that you have already lived through 2010. You surf the web and find a U-tube entitled: (Your name) Sandy's 2010 Review. Imagine yourself at the end of year. Think about what are you doing, who are you with, how you are feeling. What's new? What's been left behind?

5. Create a collage of your future: With the future fixed in your mind, rip out of old magazines pictures, phrases, words that represent what you desire in 2010. Don't over think it, just let your heart lead you. There are two ways to use your collection. One application is to paste some pictures in a design of your choice on a piece of construction paper or poster board. Put this collage on a wall where you see it daily. The more you see a picture of your future, the more you are energized to create it.

6. Step back and review: Study the list of categories in the first exercise and then at your collage. Add any areas in which you want to grow and change to your previous list.

7. Set goals: Much research has proven that people who write down goals are more likely to achieve them. Use SMART Goal Setting to make your dreams reality. (SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Reasonable and Timely.)

Make your goals SPECIFIC.
Poor: I will do better in school (or) at work.
Better: I have asked my science teacher for tutoring to improve my grades. (or) I have received training in _______a specific skill to be more promotable.

Make your goals MEASURABLE.
Poor: I want to get better grades. (or) I want a promotion.
Better: I have tutored with my science teacher for a six week time frame and have raised my grade from a C to an A. (or) I have obtained ________certification, added to my work value and submitted my creditials for a new position.

Make your goals ACHIEVABLE.
You want to stretch yourself, but also not bite off more than you could possibly achieve.
If you've never learned a different language, being proficient in one month is not likely.

Make your goals REALISTIC.
Can you invest the time it will take to accomplish what you set out to do? Do you really want to do this? On a scale of 1-10, how high is your desire?

Make your goals TIMELY.
Affix a date and time to your goal. This serves as a computer chip in your brain. Once you set it, your body wants to make it real.
Example: I have benefited from six weeks of tutoring with my science teacher beginning February 1st and ending on March 5th and have raised my grade from a C to a B and am working on making it an A. (or) I have obtained my _____credentials in April and submitted my resume for a new position opened in May.

8. Affirm Your Progress: Affirmations are positive statements that have feeling words in them. They are written in the present tense as if you are enjoying the results of your efforts now. They are written for you, not for what you want someone else to do or be. (Not, I want Jim to act more respectful.) Use affirmations to support your goal in the exercise below.

9. Design your own Success Cards:
A)Take a sheet of card stock and make strips for each goal about 5" wide and about 6" long. On the top of the card, write your goal.

B) Skip spaces and write beneath your goal an affirmation of your obtaining that goal.

Example:
Goal: I have achieved an A in my Science class by tutoring with my science teacher. (or) I have a new position as a direct result of obtaining my certification in __________.
Affirmation: I am happily reaping the benefits of my tutoring with my science teacher and have received an "A" on my April report card. (or) I am confidently accepting a new position starting May 1st that is the direct result of adding value to my capabilities with a new certification.

C) Add a picture of your success: Select a portion of the magazine pictures and words and phrases you previously cut out plus a picture of yourself (Adding you in the collage enhances making your goal a reality.) This collection will represent your vision of achieving this goal in the coming year. Paste the collage of pictures and sayings on the back of your Success Card.

Now you have your goal statement, affirmation and a picture of achieving your goal all in one place! Nana recommends focusing on five goals which makes five success cards. Pretty cool, uh?

10. Create Momentum: Reap the payoff-- you move in the direction of the pictures in your mind.

For maximum impact read your goals, affirmations and pause for a moment to look at the pictures of your achieving your goals on your Success Cards once first thing in the morning and again just before bed. Keeping the cards by your bed makes for easy access. Of course, your cell phone or computer could work. Try it out and see what works best for you!

Nana Says: When you combine your desire, thinking and imagination (Creative Tools by Dr. Edna Lister) you can create wonderful outcomes! If fact you can create a NEW Year! Good Job!

Gobble-Gobble

How To Do Life Nugget:
Nana says Thanks--GIVING is gobbled up by others.

Ever notice how people respond to genuine thanks? Their eyes light up, their hearts open and the thanks you give for their doing something kind, just being who they are, or doing a good job in school or life create an UPlift in their steps. It is the JOY season---see how much joy you can spread!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Post thanks to your special ones: http://dear-nana-says-column.blogspot.com

In Search of Beauty, Boobs, Buts and Brawn

• How to Do Life Nugget:
  Beware being set up by accepting ideas found in fairy tales.
  
  Love and Beauty are common fairy tale themes. Two things we seek and two things we define in many different ways. What if ideas found in fairy tales “set us up” for unhappiness? What if we no longer allowed these ideas to run our lives?
  
  Figure-nometry is the obsessive study of and search for physical perfection. Figure-nometry requires a magnifying glass to measure, compare, and highlight every flaw. A lifelong process I call Picking for Perfection (PFP) is set up and the search for beauty, boobs, buts and brawn--six pack abs, "V" shaped frame, up turned nose, uplifted buts and perky breasts-- is born.
  
  Undoubtedly some ideas of perfection are kept alive by identifying with photo-shopped models, air-brushed figures and plastic surgery-altered shapes. However, I wonder if these mis-guided ideas, these Plastic Implants, of “what beauty is” and “the way relationships are” were inserted early on while reading fairy tales of our youth. Setting the keynote of them all is the Cinderella Fairy Tale.
  
  Let's step into the characters in Cinderella, because you know that's what we do when we read or are read to; we take on the role; we identify with the characters.
  Down on her hands and knees, Cinderella scrubs and toils; her hands red, knees chafed. A servant, she is expected to fetch, fuss over and attend to the fuming of her Ugly Stepsisters. Here we get to peek through the mirror at a model of support. Jealous of her beauty and kindness, her stepsisters are mean to her; they talk behind her back; play tricks on her; and miserably treat her. She wishes she could be someone else. And guess what, she gets her wish. Bibbity Bobbity Boo, she is transformed by a Fairy God Mother into a princess complete with carriage, men in waiting and of course, those glass slippers!
  
  She attends the ball and meets Prince Charming, handsome, moneyed, titled and well, charming. Smitten by her, he dances with Cinderella all night until, of course, the clock strikes midnight and all fun has to end. Racing down the steps to beat time, she looses one of her glass slippers. Everything goes back to the way it was for Cinderella.
  
  Mesmerized by one night of romance, Prince Charming begins a country wide search for the glass slipper’s owner. Women of all shapes and sizes try on to fit into this one tiny size. Finally, the slipper fits Cinderella and you guessed it; she wins a life of happily ever after.
  
  Fairy Tale “set-ups” for unhapppiness:
  We must grab at happiness, it doesn’t last; therefore, we must constantly be on guard and afraid (Dare I say it?) for the next glass slipper to drop.
  Nugget: If you focus on lack, you often receive lack.
  • We can (escape) our problems by (wishing) to be someone else.
  Nugget: Ultimately there is no escaping. EVENTUALLY we have to deal.
  • We must subscribe to the “one and only”, Glass Slipper Theory. Love and beauty are in short supply. We must squeeze ourselves into the right size and shape because if we don’t, we will be unbeautiful, unworthy and unable to find love.
  Nugget: Beliefs act like magnets drawing to us more of the same.
  • Beauty is to be sought after. If you don’t have it; you want it. If you have it, watch out someone will go after you for it.
  Nugget: Beauty is from the inside-out.
  • Expect a lifetime of happily-ever-afters following one night of romance.
  Nugget: Happily ever afters are created by work-at-it ever afters.
  • Someone else can save you.
  Nugget: You give up your ability to change the way things are if you leave to someone else.
  • To live a fairy tale love; girls must act like princesses--eternally beautiful and needing to be saved and guys must be a Prince Charming--our savior from boredom, dreary labor and the testimony to our beauty and soul.
  Nugget: Impossible expectations cause misery. Become what you want from another.
  • Living happily ever after will happen only after the magic powers of a Fairy Godmother.
  Nugget: Check out "Good Ever After" below in blog
  
  Nana asks, how are these "fairy tale" ideas working for you?
  
  

Ask Nana a question: http://dear-nana-says.blogspot.com

Good Ever After

How to Do Life Nugget:
Create "Good Ever After".

What if the characters in Cinderella are all within us and we could write our own story?

Like Cinderella, we are servants to our ugly step-sisters or brothers when we allow our “little selves”, Little Emily or Little Robert, to order us around by having hissy fits, throwing a temper, becoming jealous and getting back at others. When these uglies run our lives we are miserable and find our-self(s) in the cellar, in the cinders of our worst selves.

We can be our own Fairy God Mother. Our wand is our choices and our magical, transformative powers are found in our ability to remain conscious of what’s truly important and positively use our imagination, thinking and desire. Then we can chose to alter what isn’t working while consistently and steadfastly holding true to our values.

Whatever our gender, we can give ourseleves what we expect from Price Charming. We can chose to give love, be love and see beauty regardless of name brand clothes, where we live or whether some one is a member of the “in crowd”.

Nana says-- consider rethinking the “Plastic Implants” of fairy tale untruths and the search for beauty, boobs, buts and brawn. This path sets up a yearning for an impossible perfection--a perfection we didn't come in with, yet feel we can and SHOULD somehow create.

Nana has found there IS a one and only, but you can't expect it from anyone else on Earth. Instead it is found fitting into the shape of Divine Goodness and receiving all the love you could imagine that flows from there. It is THE ONE love that serves your journey the best. It is THE ONE who offers absolute trust and will never betray you. It is THE ONE love that lasts forever.

Ask Nana a question: http://dear-nana-says-column.blogspot.com

The Power of Choice

How To Do Life Nugget:

Take 100% response-ability for your own choices and avoid passing on the blame to someone or something else.

Many people would say they feel better when they are in control. What if the defintion of "control" were conscious choice? If that were true, then a How to do Life practice would be: get conscious. Begin seeing things as they are, not seeing them as you want them to be or believe them to be.

A good place to start is accepting that you have 100% responsibility for the choices you make. What you imagine, feel, think and do directly affects the outcomes you earn in life. Eliminate "yes buts" from your vocabulary. There are no "yes buts" in the land of total responsibility. You either accept 100% responsibility or not. If you do not, then there's always room for blame.

To demonstrate that you are the initiator of your experience, consider this formula. (Event + Interpretation + Response = Outcome). Events happen. Your mind registers an interpretation based on how you see things influenced by your experiences, opinions and prejudices. You adopt a belief about "how things are". Your belief in turn triggers a response. Your response creates an outcome.

Change your interpretation or your response, not the event to get a different outcome. Think about the people in your life. How often do you hear comments like, "I could do better but my ______(parents, friends, co-workers, steady) don't understand me." "I didn't make the team or get a position because I'm too this or not enough of that. "I'm miserable, my boyfriend or girlfriend or mate doesn't give me what I want”. Don’t blame the "E"! Attempting to change someone rarely works and always expends precious energy. Events will keep on happening--it's your interpretations and responses to them that will deliver a different outcome.

Beware of "Red Flags”: "They made me do it." "If it weren't for....I would have." "I couldn't help it, I didn't have a choice". Blaming and complaining are abdicators of responsibility. Blame is seductive; it FEELS like action, but it is not the right action because you are not putting your efforts where they will do the most good. Blame focuses on others. You don't have control over others; you have command only of yourself.

Fact is you have a choice. If a gunman entered your house and pointed a gun at your head demanding you shoot one of your family, could he make you do it? Most likely, not. Can others make you do anything? You may choose a response because you don't like the consequence of another choice; but consider this, choosing the alternative is also your choice. The exception of this is little children who do not have the skills and knowledge to fight back an aductor or abuser.

Nana says you have an ability to respond. How you use that reponse-ability creates the life you lead. You are not a victim; you have the power of your choice.

Ask Nana a question: http://dear-nana-says-column.blogspot.com

Self Esteem or Soul Esteem?

How To Do Life Nugget:

Self esteem cracks when you need it most. Focus on building soul esteem and realize inner strength and peace that will fortify you and hold up when you need it most.

SELF esteem is identifying your worth with things "out there" in the world. If you have the newest style, the latest technology, the coolest bike or car you may be seen as being "in". As a result, reasoning follows, you will feel good about yourself. Further, if you are cheerleader, science club leader, sports star or student council member, you could be respected by others and you might feel even better about your-SELF. All these things are good. No doubt it takes talent, hard work and social skills to achieve them; however, if any one of these thing goes away, then it is easy to feel "less than" before. Why? External things can change in a flash--positions, groups, fashion, trends and friends.

A teacher, I observed a shy, sweet girl who sat in the back of the room during third period class. She rarely said anything unless asked; she ate by herself; and walked to and from classes alone. She yearned to belong and "fit in". Eventually, a group adopted her into their fold. She changed the way she wore her hair, her clothes and her attitude. She became just like them. One day, she got into an argument with one of the leaders in that group. The group disowned her. Her "self" esteem cracked and Emotional Poverty followed because she had invested her feelings of worth and her identity into their bank account, into pleasing them for acceptance. She wondered, if I am not one of them, who am I?

SOUL esteem is identifying your worth with the Divine, unchanging and absolute, choosing actions that bring together versus separate and divide and expressing soul qualities that have staying power. Divine's "In-Group" won't abandon you; you must abandon it by putting your faith and focus in outer things. Consider which focus will serve you best in staying UP and gaining inner peace:

SELF or SOUL-Conscious Focus?
Fear or Love ?
Competition or Compassion ?
Grudges/gripes or Forgiveness ?
Comparison to others or Using Divine as your Standard ?
Taking for granted or Gratitude ?
Being right or Open to differences ?
Forcing or Letting Flow?
Lukewarmness or Joy ?

Ask Nana a question: http://dear-nana-says-column.blogspot.com